Guest spotlight: Donna R

At 54, Donna from Adelaide had all but given up hope of finding lasting sobriety. After several relapses, hospitalisation, and a near-fatal overdose, it wasn’t until she came to The Sydney Retreat that she found a path to sustainable recovery. 

“I first went to rehab in 2014 – completing a three month program at a private rehab in Adelaide. It was Twelve Step based and there were parts that were really good but I came out and I was still not convinced that I was an alcoholic. Leading up to this first rehab my partner had died and I wasn’t sure if I was just drinking because of the grief,” she explains. 

“About two and a half months after leaving rehab, one beautiful day out of the blue I thought, ‘why not have a drink and make the day even better?’ I bought three bottles of wine and after the first drink I burst into tears – by the third drink I was suicidal. That obsession to drink had started again and I spent the next six weeks unable to stop. I knew at that stage I couldn’t give up on my own and I was back to rehab for a month.” 

After her second stay in rehab, Donna remained sober for six and a half years but didn’t follow the suggestions of her alcohol relapse prevention plan – she didn’t go to Twelve Step recovery meetings, didn’t get a sponsor, didn’t work the steps and became isolated. She eventually picked up a drink again. 

“I became suicidal again and drinking was part of my plan to take myself out. Within six weeks I went from drinking one to two bottles of red wine a night to drinking vodka straight from the bottle every day. I became someone I didn’t even recognise and I did all the things they said would happen,” she says. 

After five hospital admissions, a car crash and finally ending up in ICU nearly dying from taking an overdose of her dog’s medication in a black out, Donna had an epiphany. 

“I didn’t wake up in ICU feeling grateful to be alive but I knew I needed to do something – my family was sick of me and I was sick of myself. The only process I had seen work for people like me was the Twelve Steps. I desperately wanted my life to change. I had seen other people change their lives and I thought if I surrendered to the process things might just change for me too,” she says. 

Donna says she came to The Sydney Retreat willing to do whatever it took to get sober and fully immersed herself in the program. 

“I liked that there is a level of responsibility you have to take for your own recovery. There is good structure along with flexibility. You’re not in prison and if you don’t want to be there you can leave. I really enjoyed interacting with others in the same boat as me in early recovery and the staff were great, they have a lot of integrity,” she says.  

Today, Donna maintains her sobriety by attending regular meetings, working with a sponsor, and has completed the steps. Therapy is also an important part of her recovery. 

“Change is a slow process – sometimes it’s hard to see the changes in me but since I gave up drinking nothing’s got worse, it doesn’t always feel like it’s getting better, but one thing that’s happened is that the obsession for alcohol has completely gone and I am slowly rebuilding a life that I want,” she says. 

“I used to deny that alcoholism was a disease but today I’ve accepted it is. I now have a greater understanding of alcoholism, I’m able to see how it expresses itself in me – especially in my thinking. That process all started in The Sydney Retreat.”